a great workout, a little yoga, some retail therapy (at the dollar store- i'm not gonna lie), and a bottle of wine is all it takes, apparently. well, that and a little help from my friends ;)
my good mood got me thinking about some of my past loves, and just how lovely they were. while there are some standouts...:
-the departure: a 6'7 300lb cage fighter with a limited vocabulary but a heart of endearing mush
-the usual: a broke musician that mooched off me and my school loans, but repaid me with songs/lyrics/bass lines written to me
-the douche: a typical 'dude' that would swear his love for my intensity and passion, only to later deem it a burden to the blissful ignorance of his bachelor-dom
-the mistake: my ex fiance. enough said.
...there was/will always be The One: Brian Chambers, legendary boyfriend of all time...
we'd spend our nights drinking red wine, making love, falling asleep holding hands. in the morning, he would wake me gently by playing an iron & wine record. when my eyes opened, he would be sipping coffee, reading the newspaper. he read all the important stuff and i would read our horoscopes. we'd spend the day in dolores park, high on each other.
that was the life...
i would instantly marry the man that could make me feel that way again.
and though he was more of a photographer than a writer, he also wrote this, which incidentally is the nicest thing ever written about me:
" first thing he did was pretend to choke himself with his own scarf. not the first thing she did was compare them to a work of art. without lights he mistook her closet for the bathroom and she heckled him like a breeze. she has the best feet he has ever seen, he makes her hold them over her head so he can see them better. matter-of-factly she tells him he will fall in love with her. matter-of-factly she tells him she doesn't expect to see him again, to look around, don't forget anything. she has a lazy sweetness in her heart, which is a reference to Fitzgerald. she is the girl to end all girls, which is a reference to no one. he wants to time-travel, go back and read her report cards, see her school plays, pin flowers in her hair. everything's in disarray, slow & candied. he likes her. he's screwed. "
things didnt work out for reasons i will most likely go into at a later date.
now, years later, i find myself searching for The Other One. my friends and aquaintances often ask me what my 'type' is, so that they may be on the lookout for said match. but i honestly cant answer what he looks like, just what he feels like.
and he feels like:
Dan Conner. (Roseanne)
i know, i know. once i reveal my crush (on the character, not the actor), i am inevitably on the receiving end of an incredulous glare, accompanied by an eye roll and the infamous 'youre so fucking weird kendra' mantra.
but i cant help it. dan conner was a jolly old soul, easygoing, affable, WITTY, and endlessly devoted to his wife and children. he was loving, and stayed positive, but was always, always, always very much indeed the MAN OF THE HOUSE.
plus i love his extra weight and his beard and his plaid shirts.
awww.
operation freegan status: i only spent money on wine. in honor of 'wine wednesday' of course (i just made that up).
current mood: nostalgic.
current music: the xx- vcr.
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