finally, you'll say. finally she posts her first words. ive talked about it, thought about it, cancelled it, restarted it. and here i am, now. im finally ready cos i decided i was only going to be honest; with you, with me. so here we go.
the first post merits the conventional 'about me', and i'm afraid i've never been too great at putting myself in a nutshell. so heres as pertinent and succinct as i can manage:
i'm approaching my late 20's (in 12 days, to be exact). at this point in my life, i've accumulated two degrees (an Acting Diploma from the London Academy of Music & Dramatic Arts, and a Bachelor's in Music Marketing & Artist Management), and am working towards my Master's degree in Sculpture. i speak and write spanish fluently (it is my first language), though i am equal parts hispanic and french. my mother is a fiery central american woman with borderline personality disorder and melodramatic tendencies. my father is a calm but stifled french man who often ate a plate of charcuterie for dinner; he is a certified workaholic and has become increasingly secretive since spontaneously filing for divorce 2 yrs ago. both parents are thriving fashion designers.
i went to an all-girls catholic high school that was very nearly the death of me. everyone else's parents were doctors and lawyers, so needless to say i stood out like a sore thumb. i was distrusted all during my freshman year, ridiculed my sophomore year, and absolutely tortured my junior year. my senior year i came back with a vengeance, determined to silence them, and i graduated with a 4.0, a run as shakespeare's juliet, and the honor of being the youngest person in my school to receive LAMDA's Acting Diploma.
i left for college at 17 and i never looked back. i changed my major 3 times, all in a desperate, unending search for mySelf. after failed pursuits in theatre, law, and public relations, i carved my own path and created my own major. i wrote a proposal to the dean, made a course list, acquired all necessary signatures, and 2 yrs later i graduated with my unique bachelor's degree. i spent 7 yrs working in the local music industry, working with bands, record labels, venues and radio stations before signing my flagship band to bigger management and finally resting on my laurels to enjoy the fruits of my labors. along the way i lost jobs, money, and most importantly, the love of my life.
so on a renewed search for mySelf, i attempted to learn the family business and submitted my amateur fashion designers' portfolio to a graduate school program. i spent 2 semesters being shot down and brought to tears by professors (oddly, their behavior always happened AFTER they found out who my parents were) before telling myself i was 'misunderstood', and would be better embraced in the Sculpture department. yes, i switched my major in GRAD SCHOOL. that is indeed how i roll: up to my ears in debt, stubborn as all hell to carve my own way.
to get myself through school, ive taken up a series of part-time jobs. it was at one of these jobs that i begrudgingly but nervously accepted a date with a co-worker/boss, only to be flown to las vegas, wined, dined, and proposed to, all on the first date. we were engaged for 3 beautiful months, an additional 4 tumultuous and deteriorating months (where i found that if nothing else, i could control food: i exercised excessively, ate very very little, counted calories like a maniac, lost 15 lbs and ran a 5k), before finally calling it quits just a few weeks ago.
no worries, im ok. i knew all along he wasnt the man for me; he wasnt The One. i was too swept away at first, then stuck it out only cos i'm just that determined, stubborn, committed, to loving and being loved. he supported me financially, but little else.
as i wrapped up my semester and one of my installations was being shown in a local gallery, i had to find a job. i took the only one that called me back and now i wrap cheese at a local farmers market. equal parts sad and hilarious.
now, on yet another journey to find my oh-so-elusive Self, i look at my life and see nothing recognizable. i live in an apartment in the foggy outskirts of the city, im broke, single, and in a daily struggle with myself to eat/exercise like a 'normal' person.
yesterday i drank half a bottle of wine.
today i got my first tattoo (a small heart on the flesh between my thumb and index finger)- the guy covered it with a 'dora the explorer' bandaid-, and i started this blog. so you know this ought to be good.
currently listening: r.e.m. - losing my religion
current mood: new
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