caffeinated qualms

remember when i couldnt tell if i loved my job or hated it?
well, i hate it. i fucking hate it.

it mostly has to do with my boss being a complete condescending bitch. a wannabe paris hilton, with the false lashes, the fake tan, and the little puppy disgustingly named 'truffles'.
ever seen the devil wears prada? while shes not quite anna wintour (she WISHES), she's definitely the emily to my andrea sachs.


anything done right gets ignored, any mistake is highlighted and results in her jabbing her finger in my face and rolling her eyes. at the end of the day, i'm too tired from being frazzled trying to do everything perfectly all the time, i can barely drag my ass to the train before collapsing. nights have been spent drinking wine and staring blankly at the tv, attempting to feel human again.

so immediately i started looking for something else. in fact, ive an interview after work today and i think i'll get it. its for a position as a front desk clerk at a small hotel downtown. it seems mellow and while i'd have to work friday nights and weekend mornings, at least i wont be having nightmares about sandwich orders and coffee drinks.


today is my self-imposed Try Something New Tuesday. i wish i could try something cool, like a pilates class, or a new restaurant, or finally attempt to knit (god i wish so badly i could knit). but alas, i'm broke and exhausted. the only new thing i'm going to try is to get this fucking hotel job.
MINE.


and i really really miss crafting. i've not done anything creative all summer, and i'm really starting to feel it in my artistic bones. like, i'm jonesin' for some glue and scissors. i just need to find a few hours at a time where i don't feel so exhausted i can barely lay on my couch. this week, i'm promising myself. and you. ;)

but OH! last week i managed to peel myself off the couch enough to go to green apple books, the best used book store in all of san francisco. i had been meaning to go all summer. i bought:
-a million little pieces by james frey
-the gift by lewis hyde
-the secret life of bees by sue monk kidd
-a heartbreaking work of staggering genius by dave eggers
-sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs: a low culture maifesto by chuck klosterman
-introducing buddha by...well, a collection of people, monks mostly.

i've started into the secret life of bees and a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, and i'm already halfway through sex, drugs, & cocoa puffs.
reading for pleasure feels pretty good, and even slightly self-indulgent. i dig.


current mood: i'm wide awake at 5am. fuck that bitch. and her little dog too.
current music: 'roseanne' reruns.